Suffocating

Wanting to continue on and pursue my best self. Thought of continuing my education only for reality to sit in. I have loans that I will be paying for the rest of my damn life. Living in a society where we are pressed to continue our education or get a trade and yet we aren’t paid for all of the hard work and dedication that we put in. I’m suffocating, attempting to stay afloat while raising four girls and teaching them financial literacy.

How can I show them financial security, when the jobs I have and had aren’t a means to create savings, nor is it enough to secure a true investment. I have things that I am good at; but due to some poor decisions and consistently pulling from my investments to catch up on bills and take care of my children has me feeling suffocated. Where is that American dream they promise you once you finish school. Where is the assistance for those who work hard when they haven’t had the benefits of a silver spoon handle to them on a platter.

Daycare beyond high! Insurance off the Richter scale (both car and health)! Women of color pay at the bottom of the barrel, constantly have to prove ourselves. I’m suffocating. Laughing while meditating, as I see these bills rolling in a circle around and around. When does the foot get off my neck. Taxes, taxes, taxes, regulations, mortgage slavery, student loans slavery, colorism, classism, all forms of hatred, secret segregation. When does it stop….