The older I get, the more I understand the discussions my wise grandmother shares with me. As I sit engulfed in stress and losing my inner peace in situations I have no full control over; as always she is my confidant and reminds me as I sit on the edge of her bed the importance of setting Boundaries and saying NO. “Child you look tired for caring burdens that aren’t even deservant of you!” as she holds my hand. “You my baby were born a peaceful and happy soul.” “I can feel and tell you have forgotten our many conversations about your standards, respect, saying NO and having BOUNDARIES!” And yes she put strong emphasis on boundaries that raised the hair on the back of neck and sent quivers down my spine.
As the conversation continues, I feel tears developing in my eyes as I knew the wisdom to feed and nourish my soul she was about to share. My grandmother had and has a look and a way with words as if she knew/ knows before hand what my thoughts were, what my feelings were in the subconscious mind. I can tell we were in sync and I was ready for the knowledge.
“Being okay with not accepting things and speaking up for what is unacceptable to your standards are okay.” as she puffs on her cigarette and looks at me with her glossy eyes.”Don’t conform, shape or mold yourself into something to fit the needs of others; because trust what you expect others to do will most likely be filled with grief and disappointment. Now this does not mean don’t give people the benefit of the doubt, but if you do so chose to, have your boundaries in place to retain and protect your peace!” and puffs again.
My grandmother was right. With only a third grade education, and who is self taught by reading and life experiences; this woman is yet the wisest woman I know. Inner reflection. Inner thoughts, being in tune with oneself. She is the epitome of a peaceful WOMBman. I got the gist of what she was laying down and I picked it up and replaced it in my bag of GEMS of her previous diamonds she had giving me. I say replaced because a lot of the conversations are reminders of conversations we once had in my adolescent, early adulthood years and during my divorce. These reminders were needed.
I had to remember and reapply the boundaries conversation, which meant I was no longer going to put myself in situations that overwhelmed me. These emotions we feel as humans shouldn’t go unnoticed, as they serve a purpose and are valid of our awareness of the inner and outer world that surrounds us. When you are afraid or uncomfortable to say NO and say what is UNACCEPTABLE; just think of the negative consequences on your body and mental state when you always say yes. Nine times out of ten you’ll find yourself overworked, feeling depressed, stressed, used and the list continues on.
This is just a thought and in the near future I will speak more on this. As I feel especially for the time we are in Boundaries and respect are at most overlooked. Peace Queens and Kings!
Memoirs of a Mother Queen, Uncensored! 