In the midst of everyone trying to hold it together and get a grasp on things from the sudden change an ruckus of the world; there set a young woman who not only struggled with daily mental battles from worrying about the past but also the stress of her new adversities due to her not fully learning how to be in the present moment. See she decided to follow her heart as she knew she had ask the universe for something and the universe provided it. However, the young woman wasn’t quite intentional and didn’t know that what she asked for was going to come with a boat load of baggage (challenges and lessons one may say).
So she decided to roll with the punches and whither the storm. The storm was full of deceit, lie after lie, hurt and pain that she damn near cracked but continued to smile. Who knew the fairy tale she hoped for would involve such pain, grief, stress and disappointment. She continued to hold her head high as she didn’t want to seem ungrateful for receiving what she had asked for. Instead she continuously found reason within the lesson.
This young woman was pregnant with triplets and lost two babies along the 9 months and never properly grieved, as most women in the black community are taught to be strong and keep moving. She dealt with most of her pregnancy in secret and felt alone and yet so ashamed. She had friends who championed her on and helped her get the things she needed for her last surviving triplet but what she wanted most was her family. She yearned for her mister to be understanding and to not be selfish for the situation that was both unexpected, unforeseen and damn right just not at the greatest of times. But they made do with tiptoeing around each other as if all was fine.
She was a complete mess. She delivered her baby just as planned natural and safe with her loved ones by her side and truly believed at this point that everything was falling into place and just fine. Boy was she in for a rude awakening. 6 weeks after her delivery things change and just like during her losing her two babies she had to continue to be strong and pretend as if post par-tum didn’t exist. Her guy behavior started to change and he decided to break it off. Really didn’t have an explanation but she kinda knew what was up. See when you begin to meditate and observe people in your circle bullshit and games are more easier to recognize.
Waiting for the truth that her intuition had already for provided her, she received confirmation; the best friend or sister was more than just that. The young woman met this friend 2 months prior to giving birth. At the time this was the married sister. Somewhere along the lines the sister lines was crossed and all trust was thrown out the window. Most women would be afraid to share their story but hell why, this young woman won’t be the first and probably not the last to deal with deceit, betrayal, disloyalty and all the other negative connotations that come along with your significant other confiding and lying down with another woman.
Fast forward to a couple months passing after the breakup the two decided to work it out and yet he still was withholding information. It took until a visit over the holidays for the shit to hit the fan. You guessed it! The sister, “bestfriend” found out that he decided to stay with his initial relationship and BAM just like that guess who discloses they’re pregnant; you guessed it, the sister. The first reaction and approach the young woman took was to curse both him and the young woman out but what did that solve, he’d say anything to keep the young woman. And say anything to keep the peace.
The young woman gathered her thoughts and decided to work it out under the pretense that whatever happened ends immediately. And so he played the game well as if there was no more contact until the other young lady start acting out of character. Suicide threats, constant calling and just not moving on. The young lady couldn’t understand why the other woman was so pressing until the young lady found out the whole story. See she was only getting half truths.
The man was sending text back and forth saying how excited he was to have this other woman carry his alleged blessed child. Asking how she was doing, offering to buy and send things and conversing with her all while telling his significant other he no longer had contact with the other woman. Well we blatantly see that was a lie. As the other young woman continuously kept reaching out. The young woman couldn’t understand why he couldn’t be honest as she was always so open, vulnerable and transparent with him. She walked with grace and was so full of love so why couldn’t she receive that in return. She thought what she had someone who would protect, provide and honor his family. Even to this day the young woman doesn’t know the full story and probably won’t ever get down to the bottom of it. And maybe it’s not meant for her to have the full story.
With the lack of truth, the young woman in some aspects still gets triggered. She wants to move forward and prays often to be able to let go and release this situation but ever so often she is reminded of her truth. The best advice that anyone could give this young lady was to share her story because there are so many others who are afraid and are hurting because they won’t share, let go and release situations such as infidelity, baby’s outside of relationships, domestic abuse etc. In all the experiences one must consider the lessons within the experience and appreciate the wisdom that was gained although it may have and could even still be painful.
What was the lesson needed to be learned, was it to love someone unconditionally through their imperfections as all humans tend to make mistakes? Was the lesson to teach the young woman that its okay to feel, slow down be in the moment and realize that she has to be more intentional when asking for something? Lessons are still being analyzed.
Remember wisdom comes with growing pains, sometimes we have to break in order to receive the knowledge to plant new seeds and move forward. Blessings on blessings hope you enjoyed this snippet!
Memoirs of a Mother Queen, Uncensored! 