Parenting didn’t come with a manual is an understatement. When I was younger, I never envisioned being a mom let alone a mommy of 4. I thought I’d be a world traveler that taught international finance. But my destiny was preordained, and I had written contracts long before my return.

When I began to carry my queens in training, I knew that mothering, nurturing and guiding was definitely for me. It came so naturally. The yearning to breastfeed and hold my blessings close to my heart was a feeling unmatched. It was and still is my duty not only to teach but learn from my 4 beauties. Many times I look at my children and I see a deeper connection from all. From oldest to youngest, I know they too are here to guide me back to my true purpose of this return. However, it’s not a walk in the park and I would be a dishonest person if I said it was.

I find myself wondering and questioning my own abilities more and more with my eldest. I keep questioning what is the disconnect, why is she pulling away. Why is this relationship an abusive one? One minute she views me as the most important person in her life then the next it’s as if I’m the enemy. And with having my own personal opportunities (some would call weakness) for healing I’m working on while raising her; the more she tugs away and the more I find myself wanting to shut down from her. So busy focusing on the wave of breaking the generation curse; that I missed the beat on what’s really going on here. So many distractions attacking the mental and spiritual aspects of life that working towards solidifying foundations has become a tumultuous task. “We were built for this” – they say. But the truth is I’m hurting.

Most days I’m so busy giving and giving that I lose sense of self as my neck feels tight and I feel at a state of lost, stress and pressure. I want to constantly grab my babies and hold them and shield them from all the outside attacks of the inhumane people and things in this world (the media, mainstream artist, schooling, works, dirty birdies, misinformation of the dental and medical industry and so much more). Most times I just want to get lost in my world and create and find a balance but I’m torn as everyone wants a piece of the Momo!

The last years I’ve honestly want to pull my babies away from this illusional and delusional society and teach them off grid living. Most don’t understand nor support the methods in how I chose to raise the beings I carried and birthed. Homeschooling, herbs, outside nature! “Girl are you nuts” these girls need to be in school learning to be robots and stick to the narrative. They need to go to college so that they can follow suit. You know like you did. The debt will be held over this physical body during this realm until your energy is transformed. But see, I see the negative effects of the societal grooming that’s going on here and I am fed up.

I want the little beings to be able to be sufficient like my grannie’s generation. Know how to garden, know how to hunt, know how to identify herbs outside for healing, know how to build a home from materials provided from Earth, not fear life but live life. What is a life if it is in a constant state of fear, panic and grief?

My methods aren’t understood, but I had to rid the television, limit the technology as my babies became codependent and the family became disconnected from reality and life. From doing so, I have a teen who has extreme highs and lows. One minute we’re good then the next its shits. I believe in therapy that instill the importance of building mother daughter bonds and family. But at some point, as a family we need to effectively communicate internally prior to utilizing external factors as scapegoats.

Creating, guiding, learning, living with purpose while being a parent is one of my greatest rewards and gifts to the world. What is the lesson in guiding children during this time?

How are you coping during this era in life with the little beings, I’m curious to know?

Peace upon you!

Most Days I sit and I don’t know if I’m supposed to live the super independent woman stage or life, or if I want that old school type of love you see in the movies or like what some of my aunties have or other friends perceive to have. Comparing my life to others sheesh wth…..I know. Pull it together Wombman.

Mainstream has literally made it to where we idol things that we feel we don’t have. Always yearning and wanting more. I’ve been disconnecting often so that I can control these confusing emotions and negative energies and vibes when they cross my path.

Media and some in my environment have made life so confusing at points to where I’m conscious or half conscious, I want to live in the spot light at times or I want to be super private. There are moments where outside of me being my biggest cheerleader, I want my mate to shout at the roof tops I’m his Queen and he is beyond elated and proud of me and my accomplishments and he wants the world to know just how lucky he is to have won my heart. Then I think to myself is this what I want because this is what I see portrayed on my social media. Life’s confusing being an 80’s millennial.

I think about how men use to open the doors and handle all the masculine things like keeping the car clean, fully taking care of the finances if he was the bread winner while the woman took care of all the household necessities, be the accountant and financier, and ensure the well being of the children while taking care of her wifely duties (whatever that may be). Now it seems there is no longer a feminine or masculine balance. Women are taught to be more independent and less dependant on a significant other and some men feel less inclined to do the past things listed.

Are there any oldschool gents who buy roses just because and open doors and really celebrate their relationship. Or is this just a facade. I achieved degrees and learned to make my own money as this was instilled in me. I was told that I wasn’t raised to be no domesticated woman. But what’s unusual is, I actually spending time with my family prior to the pandemic by cooking for them, making sure the house is clean and fulfilling that feminine role of ensuring everyone emotions and vibes are at peace while creating evolving experiences.

I actually enjoy raising my children and being a part of their growth and not missing a beat. I enjoy my mate saying “here baby, today is Saturday here’s a little pocket change to get your hair and nails done (in my case I do my own hair), but hey here you go, go buy art supplies or crystals whatever makes you feel good as I know you are the concrete in ensuring our foundation as tight” I enjoy getting into a nice detailed car even though the children will repeatedly junky it up. I enjoy being a beautiful creative soul who lives freely in the rhythm of her own beat. I enjoy individuality while sharing myself wholeheartedly with the ones I truly love.

Anywho, As I stated I’m a confused old millenial who probably should just be doing this myself as I was taught that independence is keen. Are there other old millenials that feel this way or are we in a box where being super independent is the way to go. Consistently building generational wealth, not really having any true connection to others and work to pay off student loans and mortgage…. Just wrote this as it was on my mind and because I often teether back and forth or where I fit. I thought I’d have this all figured out by now…..

I’m interested in other older Millennial thoughts… Please share and peace upon you.

Authentic smiles, laughs and giggles turned into dark isolated self-pity. Where was life headed when one has not spent time to analyze the disconnect. She sits in silence to reflect and attempt to align herself, only to find that the light seemed so distant. She was an empath who felt her moral duty was to heal the world. But in doing so, the true meaning of self just begins to dissipate until she looked in the mirror and seen emptiness. The purpose of her life was being lost right before her eyes because she could not sit still and be present. Her environment became a bubble of suffering. Many silent tears and inner battles of why me. Thank goodness for her family power and her children because that belittling self-talk turned into why not me. “The mind is a dangerous place to play games” her mother always told her and when you allow toxic external forces to impede on self, it becomes difficult to rid oneself of the negative connotations that become a piece of you. She had spiritual mentors and family that guided her to the importance of inner peace and soul cleansing. What one does not know is that every time we give energy to a thought it becomes a part of us. Every time we give energy to others, they exchange energy with us. Energy is transformable and we must learn to cleanse and rid ourselves of energy that is draining and no longer serves us for our greater good. See that negative self-talk and emptiness that woman once felt was not of her, but of external factors that she allowed to impede on her. She is known as the sunshine and often attracts darkness. Her first step was to realize her light and the ability to deflect energy that dimed her sunshine. It was not an easy process but once she allocated space for the inner knowledge the more natural darkness was deflected from her light. She turned to the earth when she felt out of whack. The Earth became mother, her healer, and her energy consoler. For she knew she was now right where she needed to be. I am she; she is me….

I always been an overthinker, even so as a child.

Most nights I rarely sleep; either because I am thinking of an ingenious idea, or I’m engulfed in the past or stressed about the future. Although, it has been a difficult task, I believe I am nearing the point of succeeding this point.

My naturopathy prescribed me a natural powder foam additive called Calm to help me relax. Well, it sort of, hmm, kind of been working; as I am able to fall asleep like a baby for a few hours before I’m awaken again with an explosive mind.

Shhhhhh thoughts, let me sleep. No, I do not want to revisit the past and create non- existent scenarios in my head; nor do I feel like being anxious about the future.

Wake up Shondra, I have this awesome idea that you need to write down. Really, right now, at this present moment?! Yes, at this moment. We all know once we entertain the thought of the idea, it almost becomes impossible to go back to sleep as now I am thinking of SMART goals to execute and achieve this excellent idea that my mind felt was so important that I needed to wake up at 3:00 am.

Tick Tock, the man-made time has passed on the clock, and guess who is sluggish and needing her daily cup of Joe! Yup this Girl. Unhealthily working off 3 hours of sleep, I must execute this wonderous Idea, while playing teachers aid, the cook, the housewife and business owner. Nope no complaints here, as I am now chugging my 4th cup of Joe.

Wired until I burn out, only to find myself sleep deprived again. I turn on frequency music, color spectrums, water falls, white noise only for my mind now to take me on a paradise trip. Woman, go to sleep, you can dream of these things as your eyes close heavily. Nope, I have a thought on how I can paint a picture of a waterfall. I am out of canvas, wood, and paint, I wonder what time Michaels opens??? Are you serious it is almost 3 am again and you’re talking about doing art projects! Even in my meditative states I am traveling LOL….

Anyone else out there Sleep deprived…..

Loading up and tow hitching my Powder Puff Girl AKA my White Dodge Journey to make a huge decision to leave what I known as home, Arizona for 5 and some change years. It wasn’t an easy decision but one that had to be made. Who knew it would be during the rise of the pandemic. Living in Arizona I could remember being told to pick up our office supplies in March and schools opting for homeschool for the children. O boy was this a challenge; Considering I was packing up my house, helping my 3 school age children with school, while caring for my infant and working full time to most nights 11:00pm and longer. Talk about long days, hair pulling, cussing like a sailor, and wishing I could hide on the Atlantic somewhere.

Anywho, the clock was ticking and April arrived and it was time to journey on. The stores were pretty much empty as people went into panic mode as if it was y2k. Funny thing is we still weren’t told we had to wear mask in enclosed areas as people were so confused about what the hell was going on and and most still are. We fill up at the gas station and hit the road.

First state was New Mexico. At the time Arizona and New Mexico had low numbers of the virus whereas Chicago, IL was a hot state according to the news. Arizona and New Mexico people weren’t required to wear a mask nor did I see any encouragement. We only had mask because my significant other from Chicago was required due to the city ordinance put in place by their mayor. New Mexico was pretty much a flat land with not much to remember outside of some stores you could tell were not disinfecting nor sanitizing most common areas… We did not stay in New Mexico instead we just stopped to use the restroom and kept it pushing. However we did get to see a national park that was closed but was filled with petrified wood that we took as a souvenir for the road.

Texas! Where everything is BIG so they say! Wooo doggy was it a lot of Trump attire up in that state… Continuing on we decided to book a room in Amarillo at a major hotel; which I will not mention for legality purposes but it does start with the 23rd letter of the alphabet… Hint Hint…During the pandemic this hotel was definitely in all types of violations. The shower had mold, the light fixtures didn’t work throughout the room nor did some of the outlets. I checked for bedbugs, thank goodness there weren’t any; but God knew what was running through my mind. I was well over exhausted to even attempt to find another place to stay so I put my pride aside, slept with all my clothing on and double socks. There was no where in HELL I was going to shower in that place with my bare skin and feet. I sprayed my clothing with disinfectant prior to getting back in Powder Puff praying that the next place would be way better. We left and stopped at Rudy’s prior to hitting the road for some Orgasmic Brisket! of course this is before I adapted my now pescatarian lifestyle.

On to the OKC… Honestly… It was quite frightening, some areas had look like ghost towns that if you wasn’t from there, you’d better not stop. We kept it pushing but stop in a restroom that smelt like bleach but was beyond filthy. I ask my significant other not to leave me in there alone as I prayed … We sprayed the bottom of our feet with Lysol (yes we had Lysol) I know it may come as a surprise since it was scarce. I know some are wondering how the Mister deals with some one who can be a hypochondriac sometimes, but heck we all have some form of OCD….

Thank Goodness to the Fresh Air of Missouri. We made it to Missouri outside of Rolla, which was our next stopping point before we’d hit the stretch to our final destination Chi-town. It was midnight and the hotel was locked…. WTF!!!! I’m tired and just want to shower and sleepppppp. I called the reception and we stood at the door with no answer. My guy said we can sleep in the car. All who know me knows this wasn’t going to happen as I am very persistent when it comes to my desires. I started calling other hotels and they were not in the range I was willing to pay for a few hours of shut eye. So I called the receptionist several times at the hotel we booked and she’d finally answered and let us in. Thank God she did, because the room exceeded expectations. We had a newly renovated room with laminate tile flooring, a clean comfy bed and a sign that informed us of sterilization practices upon our arrival. After the frustration, I no longer was upset that we waited as it was worth the hospitality, price of $62 bucks after tax, and stay.

Time for the home stretch! Where mask were mandatory to enter into any place! Downstate Illinois was fairly clean, some followed wearing mask and some did whatever they pleased with no consequence. However, we made it back to the city and did not quarantine as we felt fine. We also bathe in Hibiclens in Missouri and at home. We stayed with my grandmother who we did not pose a risk too, nor did she get sick. If you have any questions, concerns or feedback feel free to message me at momquessentials@gmail.com! Peace, Power and Protection to You Kings and Queens! I hope you enjoyed the read!

What is so important that you need to travel during this pandemic? What is wrong with you? Are you willing to put your family at risk all for a trip you can book later? You aren’t taking this serious? Typical millennial always not following precautions….

All questions and opinions that I continuously hear…. Sounds like fear to me… Naive… Potentially… Careless… Hmmm… I would not take risk if they weren’t ever calculated at least once… Hell maybe twice. There are so many mixed messages about this virus that the typical elder millennial like myself stays confused! The one thing I do know is to follow good hygiene measures like I’ve been taught in house prior to even being exposed to the outside world. Honestly, I’ve taken a liking to the fashionable mask that allows us to conceal our identity and flaws but show uniqueness and character in our style.

The mask even gives you a reality check on if you’ve truly been practicing those good hygiene measures that the thousands + dollars dental expense inured over the years… Lol some may not find it funny but its true! The mask depending on color also shows you what parts of your face really hasn’t been cleaned… Any who just a thought, and my sarcasm ends here…. Maybe!

Since the start and even prior to the pandemic, I pretty much hiked and drove for my sanity. It was always simple for me to avoid people as I was the only child and always loved the company of self. So this new way of living for some wasn’t really a new way for me. I was a sickly child so my mother would always shelter me in some form way or another to avoid catching any respiratory infections. So traveling with precautions came natural and didn’t really halt any plans; outside of things closing early, wearing mask and the constant hand washing that kills antibody cells that helps your immunity.

So first thing first, I notice that Airlines such as American wasn’t packing flights like Spirit and they still offered snacks in a bag upon boarding. I seen for American where a crew came and sprayed the plane down prior to us boarding, which was a nice touch. I however did not witness this with Spirit. In fact on Spirit my anxiety was to the roof as we were packed like sardines. But that didn’t stop me from continuing on my adventure.

During the Pandemic, I’ve driven from Arizona to Illinois and have witness many differences in all states I’ve stopped in. I’ve also taken my family on a road trip to Branson, MO. and lastly flew back and forth to Florida twice during the pandemic. I will write different post to discuss the experiences differently to follow up on this one. and also record a video to give more detailed insight. If you have traveled during this pandemic please also feel free to share or ask questions! Peace, Power and Protection beyond to you Kings and Queens!

In the midst of everyone trying to hold it together and get a grasp on things from the sudden change an ruckus of the world; there set a young woman who not only struggled with daily mental battles from worrying about the past but also the stress of her new adversities due to her not fully learning how to be in the present moment. See she decided to follow her heart as she knew she had ask the universe for something and the universe provided it. However, the young woman wasn’t quite intentional and didn’t know that what she asked for was going to come with a boat load of baggage (challenges and lessons one may say).

So she decided to roll with the punches and whither the storm. The storm was full of deceit, lie after lie, hurt and pain that she damn near cracked but continued to smile. Who knew the fairy tale she hoped for would involve such pain, grief, stress and disappointment. She continued to hold her head high as she didn’t want to seem ungrateful for receiving what she had asked for. Instead she continuously found reason within the lesson.

This young woman was pregnant with triplets and lost two babies along the 9 months and never properly grieved, as most women in the black community are taught to be strong and keep moving. She dealt with most of her pregnancy in secret and felt alone and yet so ashamed. She had friends who championed her on and helped her get the things she needed for her last surviving triplet but what she wanted most was her family. She yearned for her mister to be understanding and to not be selfish for the situation that was both unexpected, unforeseen and damn right just not at the greatest of times. But they made do with tiptoeing around each other as if all was fine.

She was a complete mess. She delivered her baby just as planned natural and safe with her loved ones by her side and truly believed at this point that everything was falling into place and just fine. Boy was she in for a rude awakening. 6 weeks after her delivery things change and just like during her losing her two babies she had to continue to be strong and pretend as if post par-tum didn’t exist. Her guy behavior started to change and he decided to break it off. Really didn’t have an explanation but she kinda knew what was up. See when you begin to meditate and observe people in your circle bullshit and games are more easier to recognize.

Waiting for the truth that her intuition had already for provided her, she received confirmation; the best friend or sister was more than just that. The young woman met this friend 2 months prior to giving birth. At the time this was the married sister. Somewhere along the lines the sister lines was crossed and all trust was thrown out the window. Most women would be afraid to share their story but hell why, this young woman won’t be the first and probably not the last to deal with deceit, betrayal, disloyalty and all the other negative connotations that come along with your significant other confiding and lying down with another woman.

Fast forward to a couple months passing after the breakup the two decided to work it out and yet he still was withholding information. It took until a visit over the holidays for the shit to hit the fan. You guessed it! The sister, “bestfriend” found out that he decided to stay with his initial relationship and BAM just like that guess who discloses they’re pregnant; you guessed it, the sister. The first reaction and approach the young woman took was to curse both him and the young woman out but what did that solve, he’d say anything to keep the young woman. And say anything to keep the peace.

The young woman gathered her thoughts and decided to work it out under the pretense that whatever happened ends immediately. And so he played the game well as if there was no more contact until the other young lady start acting out of character. Suicide threats, constant calling and just not moving on. The young lady couldn’t understand why the other woman was so pressing until the young lady found out the whole story. See she was only getting half truths.

The man was sending text back and forth saying how excited he was to have this other woman carry his alleged blessed child. Asking how she was doing, offering to buy and send things and conversing with her all while telling his significant other he no longer had contact with the other woman. Well we blatantly see that was a lie. As the other young woman continuously kept reaching out. The young woman couldn’t understand why he couldn’t be honest as she was always so open, vulnerable and transparent with him. She walked with grace and was so full of love so why couldn’t she receive that in return. She thought what she had someone who would protect, provide and honor his family. Even to this day the young woman doesn’t know the full story and probably won’t ever get down to the bottom of it. And maybe it’s not meant for her to have the full story.

With the lack of truth, the young woman in some aspects still gets triggered. She wants to move forward and prays often to be able to let go and release this situation but ever so often she is reminded of her truth. The best advice that anyone could give this young lady was to share her story because there are so many others who are afraid and are hurting because they won’t share, let go and release situations such as infidelity, baby’s outside of relationships, domestic abuse etc. In all the experiences one must consider the lessons within the experience and appreciate the wisdom that was gained although it may have and could even still be painful.

What was the lesson needed to be learned, was it to love someone unconditionally through their imperfections as all humans tend to make mistakes? Was the lesson to teach the young woman that its okay to feel, slow down be in the moment and realize that she has to be more intentional when asking for something? Lessons are still being analyzed.

Remember wisdom comes with growing pains, sometimes we have to break in order to receive the knowledge to plant new seeds and move forward. Blessings on blessings hope you enjoyed this snippet!

As the water runs down my face during my shower; I have a reflective point in my mind of some of the hardest lessons learned in my adult years. One in particular comes to mind, and it is see it through. Originally when I thought of see it through, I always think of staying still not moving to just stay. I replayed scenarios of when I had to stay but didn’t want too or seeing a project through I though I detested it; spending a night at a family members house, staying in Chicago instead of going to school abroad, relationships, teams, companies and the list goes on.

Although the experiences listed were things I didn’t necessarily want to do they were experiences that brought on lessons that at the completion, I was rewarded. Rewarded with wisdom, strength and most of all internal and external gifts. There is beauty to be seen in all situations. When we get past the negative mindset that was natured / nurtured in us from adolescents to adulthood, then we can vividly feel and see the rewards. We always want more and hence we continue to chase without learning to appreciate, value and express gratitude for what we do have. Consequently, blessings go unnoticed and we burnout and remain unsatisfied and unhappy.

In this shower, I cried. I cried for pain, I cried for joy, I cried for rejoicing. I just cried. Showers are my sanction of where I can let myself be vulnerable without those around me asking me whats wrong. Every cry is not a cry for help. Crying is a cleansing, a release of what no longer serves you a purpose. While writing now, I’m understanding more. The pleasures of writing.

When I came to write this post, I was going to revisit the past, and discuss how hurt I am and was but what purpose does that serve. I now see the lesson in learning to seeing things through as the rewards are near. There are projects, purposes and people who are waiting for me to see through; and dwelling on something that is in the rear view mirror will not move you forward. If one wants to measure the vibration frequencies of life, one most learn to flow with the waves of life. Peace comes from within! Listen to your core and go with your gut and in order to do so you must learn to stay still within the moment. That within itself is a true lesson. Peace and Blessings Kings and Queens…

Be you but with restrictions. Be mindful of your surroundings, speak a certain way, wear your hair a certain way so that you can get your foot in the door. It was okay that I had a creative mind and spirit in the household. It was okay that I was very assertive and bold in the household. It was okay that I had a keen knack for learning any and everything in the household. It was okay that I had beautiful long curly hair in the household and that my skin was golden orange in the household. See in the black home and yes I say BLACK home and NOT black American or African American because I, along with my fellow blacks have been treated every which way but American.

The only way I could learn rich history of blacks was attending black schools, speaking to black historians or learning from within my home. Thank goodness my circle taught me the riches of the knowledge we possess, the strength in our bloodlines, and how we were Gods, Goddess and Pharaohs. We were inventors, we were mathematicians, architects, writers, scribes, educators and the list continues. We are still those things. See outside the home we are taught hate and the opposite of the truth. As if we had no contribution to building nations worldwide. When we all know it is the strengths of the blacks that established the foundation of this nation brick by brick, whip by whip, lash by lash, lynch by lynch, rape by rape, murder by murder.

At 33, who knew that I would have to hide my richness just to make others feel superior; and when I (speaking for my age group) begin to speak and instill knowledge peacefully we get shunned upon or we disappear; our lives vanish in mid air and no one is held accountable. It is okay in this nation to be ridicule and murder on national and mass media and no one is held accountable. It is okay for police to walk in a black family’s home and murder an individual and say it was a mistake, it is okay for my Soror to be pulled over for not having a turning signal and lose her life for a traffic stop and no one be held accountable, it is okay for our black men to scream to their mothers and be suffocated in front of a camera and die, it is okay for our black teenagers to walk to the store in hoodies and be killed just because a white man felt threatened, it is okay for strange fruit to continue to hang in the south, it is okay that black men can jog in the park and be shot down like kettle by white men, it is okay that the mass majority of Covid patients dying from other conditions be labeled as the cause of death is Covid complication when in reality it is the unjust health system in the black communities, It is okay that I have the same degree as a white counterpart and more experience but I earn at the poverty level, it is okay that if I am with child that if I go into labor at a hospital I may not come out alive due to the spike in black maternal deaths, It is okay that I may not get in to an IVY league school because other privileged people parents pay to get into a school with no true consequence; but if I fake my address and I’m black just to give my child a better opportunity for education then I get 10 years of prison time, it is okay that if I live in a building that a neighbor feels I can’t afford or that I’m not privilege to that she can follow me to my apartment and call the police….. This list goes on and at this point I’m sick of revisiting it!

Curly hair afro means I’m and angry black woman and no one will take me seriously so I must wear a weave or relax my hair, curse less and act the part for a salary that won’t even cover my student loans. Yea us Millennials have pretty much been screwed. We have been taught to work work work attempt to save and invest with lack of actual financial literacy. We all have trades and a business mindset and most have started their own businesses for now, unfortunately some of them to be burned down by infiltrators or not part of the small business bail – out (scratches head, I wonder why). If blacks stimulate the economy by billions of dollars then I would think more entities would want to assist in building up their communities. O wait I forgot, we don’t want the blacks to get to far ahead of themselves. We’ll give subprime mortgages, FHA loans and subprime car loans for 30 plus years that they will pay for the rest of their lives to allow them to feel proud, while passing on the debt to generations to come. Lets not forget all of the hormone pumped meat and seedless gmo fruits we can push on our people to create cancers and obesity to stimulate the health and insurance industry. I thank Trump 45 for exposing to the world what black and other minorities have been subdued to in this land of opportunity for centuries. I have had the privilege to develop PTSD due to racism (systematic and non systematic) just blatantly thrown in the mix day in and day out.

I remember being 12 walking up Greenleaf and Sheridan RD. in Rogers Park, Chicago and being thrown up against a building because they were looking for a woman who was 5’8 like me. I didn’t tell my mom because I was afraid and embarrassed. I was 12, a young lady who was engulfed in studies, did hair, and played with barbies, how could I fit the criteria of wrongdoing, I was just a child. I remember in 1992 asking my mom why the police was beating a man (Rodney King) on tv. Another great memory, in forth grade as one of the top performing students of my class, told my teacher Miss Swanson she was prejudice; I not only spelled it for her but was able to use it in a sentence, and give her the definition. My mother definitely got a call that day, and rightfully so her child was being subjected to discrimination in her 4th grade class. Now fast forwarding to now, I am having similar conversations with my 4 princesses. Talk about stress and anxiety chile….I will discuss in the next post to follow. If you have any stories to share, I would love to read them, please share and comment. Peace and Blessings Kings and Queens!

She came in quick, quicker than one could imagine. She played the fiddle well, making herself the victim to all parties. She was a true manipulator. See that was familiar for her; making people feel sorry for her, making it seem as if she was the one being attacked or targeted. My mother continued to warn me that black women are and were the forbidden fruit. So much so that to get what she wants she is willing to destruct and destroy at all cost. Now this doesn’t apply to all women of color, just some who are lost.

This woman was sick, mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually; that one needed to understand that she needed healing. We and I had to and have to develop an understanding in order to move forward. She knew not what she was doing and yet she lives in regret for attempting to invade and split a family. Her choices became her demise and no one can fix that but her.

On my own healing journey, I had to recognize that certain situations are bigger than me; and that we all experience hurt and pain before we see our major breakthrough. This is what I learned from some of the sisters (lessons) I’ve come in tune with these past couple of years. And with that being said the biggest thing I can do is begin to forgive those that I allowed to disappoint and hurt me the most.

I however forgive you. I forgive you for the pain, anger, deceit and hurt you inflicted on me. I forgive you for me allowing you to enter into my life as a fallacious soul sister. I learned a true and valuable lesson that some will get close to you as they want what you have and instead of building their own they will some way, or another attempt to insert themselves if your foundation isn’t strong enough.

As I am working on healing my womb, my sacred union and solidifying my foundation, I will forgive but I will never forget. I release the anger, misunderstanding, fear, doubt and all negative emotions associated with the women that I harvest up until this point. I am now at a place where I ask that these situations and lessons that no longer serve my family and I greater good be release through Love and Light from a divine power. I wish you well on your way to healing and releasing. Peace, power and protection Kings and Queens.